BETTER Visit to the Vet--Oh, Yeah

Whisper had to go to the vet today because he had a hot spot on his back, right above his tail. I was gone four days; it was not there when I left, it was when I got back. Though he is on frontline, the vet thinks a flea allergy. Something certainly makes him itch. We don't see any fleas--but with frontline, the flea must bite him before they die, so if he is sensitive to them, the bite will certainly irritate him. He has scratched out a patch of his beautiful hair.

He is on steroids, benedryl, different flea/tick med., etc.

BUT, what was so nice--and pertinent to here--is that he trotted into the vet like every dog I've ever had, no aggression at all. He greeted the techs and the vet happily, accepted treats, tail wagging, obeyed commands, let himself be examined, even letting her stick that thingy in his ear. He has been to the vet one other time

since that awful time when we had to put a muzzle on him and I realized some intervention was necessary (as he scared me, the vet tech, other patients--everyone around with his aggressive behavior), but today was exceptionally rewarding.

He takes his puppy prozac every night. I would never have believed a medicine could make that much difference--but the evidence is there. He was nervous, but he was at the vet being examined. What I feel is gratitude.

We are supposed to make an appointment to check on maybe adjusting the medication because he is still anxious, not totally relaxed, and at our last behavior modification appointment, the behaviorist thought they might be able to adjust the medicine to help with anxiety. But, this is such a wonderful change--to see my boy's sweet personality emerge in public, as opposed to Cujo.

It is not worth a flea allergy and hotspot, but if he has to have those irritations, well, it was good to see his sweet self shine!

The Work Continues

The Adventures of Living with Whisper, the Fearful Pup may have seemed to have come to a screeching halt, but they have not. However, since he hurt his leg a few weeks ago, the formal work had pretty much stopped. “Keep him still for two weeks.”

Excuse me? Keep a young border collie still—for two weeks.

And, while you are at it, cure climate ills and bring peace to the world.

I am not above a little elemental aid, and did use the storm-fear medicine--at the vet's urging--to help “take the edge off." It sounds like I am the ultimate dog druggy, but truly that is not the case. This poor baby was carrying his back leg and begging me to throw a tennis ball as he did it. I also do not live alone, and someone I shall not name continued to take the dogs for walks when I was not home until it demonstrably became evident that true INACTION and rest was required.

Finally after twice as long as it should have, and just as we were headed back for an x-ray to see if something had happened beyond a strain or sprain needing more intervention than mere rest, Whisper’s leg has started working normally, no limping, no carrying, even after longer and longer walks, more and more ball throws-and-returns.

And, boy howdy, as we would say in Arkansas, I am grateful for it. This poor, happy, fearful boy has dealt with so much in his short life; he reaches the milestone two-year birthday on December 1. Sparing him the trauma of anesthesia for an x-ray is truly a good thing.

So, today we returned for our second behavioral appointment at the vet school. Whisper, after two visits, trotted to the front door like Old Home Week. He is still taking puppy Prozac, and again in interaction today with the trainer the influence of that drug displayed itself. He wiggled, he slithered to her, begging for treats, he even raised his big self into her lap, begging.

He displayed normal doggy behavior.

However, it is not all sunshine and lollipop, er lollipup(?) news. Smart boy knows the ‘trick’ of putting his nose into the muzzle that we have worked on, and he knew in that setting with the muzzle on the floor that, indeed, putting his nose in that muzzle was what was wanted. He would sometimes reach with his nose to the muzzle, wait for the clicker sound, and get his cheese treat (ah, the wonder of cheese). But it was also obvious that he was anxious, worried, about. . . .  something.

Perhaps he worried he would get it wrong; perhaps the trainer, certainly friendly to him, and, as I said, he to her, caused him concern just by being an unknown factor. They had met in the previous session, but she is not one of ‘his’ people. The pupils in his eyes were huge; he could not sit still, going from me to her, back and forth, unable to calm himself. His manner was one of ingratiating himself, afraid to perform the task he knows how to do, whether because he fears doing it wrong or fears. . . . what?

So, back to the pharmaceutical people. Sigh. . . . When I asked if she believed he might need more of the medicine, she answered, “More, maybe. Or different.”

Well, of course.

Our homework is to get him to put his beautiful black nose at the end of his beautiful white snout into the muzzle as I hold the muzzle in my hand off the floor (click and treat). I must make an appointment to have the meds checked.

But, though he is anxious, and there is no denying he was worried at the session today, he also was interacting with the trainer much as he did with the vet at our last vet visit—he was being cute, acting wiggly happy to see her, he was asking for attention. The Cujo factor was nowhere to be found. I want him to not be afraid; I want him to know he can trust me to take him to happy places (we are going to work sheep on Saturday—where he has ALWAYS behaved well) and safe places. I want to see improvement even from here. But I do not miss the improvement we have already seen—I still see in my mind this beautiful, sweet dog that I love trying to attack another dog and warning off people, making the vet tech so nervous (and me, for that matter) that we needed a muzzle.

We will keep working and he will keep improving. I cannot ever, ever express my thankfulness for how far we have come. He is still a puppy--a big ole gallumping border collie puppy. Just growing up a little more will help (probably) with some of the adolescent behavior. And with the work with the Behavior Clinic and continued training--and sheep--I so hope and pray this dog I love will have a full, happy, productive life.  

Ah, Progress

Whisper hurt his leg on Saturday. He doesn’t advertise his injury on his face; that smile seldom dims. Instead, while inside the house, he walks around on three legs, carrying his beloved tennis ball in hopes that someone with opposable thumbs will throw it for him. In that event, he will bite the proverbial bullet, put his sore leg to the ground, and chase the ball, using the sore leg at least until he retrieves his ball. Then, limping even more obviously, back he comes, ball in his mouth, hopefully dropping it at the human’s feet.

So, today, off to the vet.   The verdict for his leg is that, most likely, one of those hairpin turns strained or sprained his hip, and he needs to rest. So, pain meds, anti-inflammatory meds, and a mild medicine for sedative purposes. Gotta try to keep the pup calm for several days to let that leg heal up some. (This is the dog that had OCD surgery on his shoulder when he was six months old; try keeping a six-month old border collie calm for SIX weeks!)

None of that is particularly surprising and not a cause for comment necessarily.

But……

The last time Whisper was at the vet he could not even enter the building till he had a muzzle on his pretty snout. He had lunged at a dog quietly entering the building, snarling and snapping from roughly fifteen feet. Then when the technician came to get us, he turned into Cujo with her. After we were in, they took him from me, and he calmed down some, peeing voraciously, shaking, and scaring himself and me. But they got an exam in. That was the incident that sent us to the Vet School Behavior Clinic and the start of our puppy Prozac regimen and behavior modification sessions.  That was May.

Today we took our muzzle with us. My husband and I both tried to get the thing on Whisper. We are both college educated professional people, both having worked with technology for decades. I can sew and knit; Mike can build furniture, for Pete’s sake. As we struggled with the muzzle for the fifth (or so) time, Whisper would shake his head, turn, and remove the muzzle. That bumper sticker that says “My border collie is smarter than your honor student” may not be appropriate in our case, but one saying, “My border collie is smarter than his owners” rings true.

So, we just thought we’d see how well this puppy Prozac works (along with the clicker training I am doing, of course), and as they called us, we looked down at that handsome white face and said, “Come on, Whisper!”

My sweet boy, so afraid of new places, no nervous of strange dogs and people, trotted in like he owned the building. We sailed through the waiting room like he lived there. Then, the dreaded SCALE. And, yet, he hopped up, did take a couple times to sit long enough for the weight numbers to settle, but eventually did (he’s lost seven pounds!), and trotted after the tech into the examination room. He was smiling, wagging his tail, looking around.

Who is this dog?

He never growled, he never snapped. One time, as the doctor grabbed his leg and rotated it—not pleasant for any dog, even if the leg did not hurt—he peed a little. That was the only indication that he was veering toward fear. Mike and I both were helping hold him, of course.  And, when it was over, he was happy again, wiggling, and greeting the vet like he has always been this normal, happy dog.

I wanted to weep from relief and the joy of it.

The vet told us the plan of treatment (see above), and we also discussed his behavior issues and treatment plan. I mentioned how sad I had been for him when the fear aggression had started:  “After all, I’ve had Mac and Millie.” 

Her response was the universal response when Millie’s name is mentioned. “Ah-h-h, Millie. What a sweet, wonderful dog she was.” Indeed.

But, today I was so proud and grateful for my little, puppy boy—well, not so little. Even seven pounds lighter is almost 54 pounds, not a light border collie. We will keep working, of course. Today was wonderful, but not the end. But it showed me that Whisper really can be okay; not necessarily that I can ever be as sure of his behavior as I was with, oh, say Millie. J But that with continued treatment and work, he and I can interact with other dogs and people and have fun and people can know the beautiful, sweet dog he is.

We’re not there, but, thank you, God, we are not at the start of the road anymore, either.

I cannot begin to say how grateful I am.

Here a Click, There a Click, Everywhere a Click, Click

Our homework from our first training session at the behavior modification sessions at the Veterinary School’s Behavior Clinic is to work on getting Whisper comfortable--using behavior modification with the clicker, shaping his behavior with the muzzle--getting him ready to be more comfortable with it. Like most dogs, he is not terribly comfortable  having a muzzle shoved on his nose and strapped on his head. The purpose of a muzzle, of course, is the safety of everyone should he get anxious or afraid and strike out or nip or worse. The muzzle is a good, rubber basket style; he can open his mouth with it, it doesn’t keep him from panting, and rubber doesn’t rub his head like some metal or even mesh sometimes do.

But, even so, most dogs don’t think, “Whoopee, a muzzle! I can’t wait to wear this around!” Hence, shaping behavior with clicker training.

We started, as I described earlier, while at our first training session at the clinic. Shaping behavior begins by just waiting till the dog makes any move that sort of looks like it might be the beginning of that behavior. In this instance, the muzzle lay on the floor, and Whisper lay sort of close to it. Then, whenever he turned his head in the general direction of the muzzle, the trainer clicked and treated. Before long, she waited till he turned more toward the muzzle before rewarding the behavior.  Then she waited till he looked at the muzzle.

All of this took several minutes, of course, and was not exactly step-by-step.  But Whisper is a smart dog (border collies are known for their trainability, and I have worked with him with clicker training), and he figured out pretty quickly how to get the treat. I then worked with him for a few minutes, making him get a little more specific in his reaction to the muzzle before getting a treat.  Eventually a command is put with the click.

He prefers my instruction, of course, than that of a stranger, and he is definitely more comfortable with me.  While he took direction from the behaviorist trainer, he kept glancing at me, checking in, sort of.  He also checked on the two observers in the room, but always, those eyes came back to me for security and approval.  After we practiced for a few minutes, I gave him a “That’ll do!” and he knew we were done.

“Just practice five or ten minutes a couple of times a day,” we were told. “You want him to put his nose in the muzzle on the floor, but don’t try to put the straps on him till you come back here.  Probably you should have an appointment again in a couple of weeks.”

Okay.

So, yesterday I got on the floor, got the cheese (our treat of choice), the clicker, and the muzzle.  Whisper lay in front of me, looking at the muzzle I lay there. Jenni sat on the other side of me. She knows she gets cheese just because Whisper is working, and she is cute. I tossed her a piece, which she chased down. Whisper, watching me, pointed his nose at the muzzle, I clicked, and gave him his treat.

By which time Jenni was back, and we repeated the process.

At the end of our short time, Whisper had started physically poking the muzzle for a treat, and Jenni had a tummy full of cheese. It seemed like a good place to stop for the morning, and, it turned out, for the day.

Today we began again. No one, I believe, is happier that Whisper is getting special help than Jenni, who has started to about climb into my lap to get me to start tossing her a treat before Whisper even starts work. Before the three of us finished our short session today, Whisper was putting his nose into the muzzle for a treat—not every time, but most of the time. This is the point where we were supposed to be before returning for our second session. 

To build on the method of training, we worked on the “touch” command, me holding a yard stick (the only thing I had that would work) and Whisper touching it with his nose on the end, me clicking, saying “touch” and giving him a treat. Before long I could hold it to either side, up, down, and he was poking his nose like a chicken pecking for dinner. That skill needs refining as well, but it was a good start.

We will continue to practice on the muzzle, and maybe work on Jenni backing up a little before getting a treat of her own (can I train two border collies at one time?), and maybe refine other tricks (he is so cute saying his prayers it makes you want to say “Amen!”)  

Growth and improvement comes one step at a time; for us, a click here, a click there are steps to becoming a safe and happy dog.

Shaping Behavior One Click at a Time

Doesn't he look innocent?

Today Whisper and I went for our first “Behavior Modification” lesson at the vet school.  He has been on the puppy Prozac for over two months now, and there seems to be a positive result from that. He is not particularly mellow, being, after all, a young border collie. But he is not so quick to lose his mind, so to speak, and he does seem a tad less anxious around the house.   My husband had told me that Whisper got a little aggressive towards a woman who came up to the car at the grocery store the other day; probably he was being protective of the car--his daddy's car, but it was the first time Mike had seen that Cujo attitude come out. His reaction? “Don’t you have a muzzle?” I believe it frightened him a little….I don’t know that he had really believed me before that Whisper could get so scary.

When we arrived at the vet school a large, hairy German Shepherd Dog walked past us, about twenty feet from where we walked. I have seen the time when Whisper would have lunged at him, no matter how far the distance from us. Today he was definitely anxious, he whimpered, he whined, he trotted on his tip-toes, but he also looked at me instead of zeroing in on the other dog. I clicked and treated for all I was worth, giving him a “Good Boy!” as often as I could and gave him enough cheese (his treat of choice) for a medium pizza as we made it past the other dog and entered the building, Whisper continuing to watch me for guidance, me continuing to click and treat and “Watch me”-ing, and “Good Boy!”-ing, and the other folks keeping control of their dog as well. I was over the top proud of him; he knew he had done well, I think, because he certainly had done himself proud.

In the waiting room, people passed us, and he would move to greet them—really greet them in a friendly way. I would call him back to me and treat him before he could remember that he, on occasion, tried to eat people. He must have been friendly to ten people today, both before, during, and after our lesson.  He never completely relaxed, but he never lost control, either.

In the lesson, the trainer brought a vet student and an assistant who was, I believe, studying to be a trainer as well. Today’s lesson was working on getting Whisper to accept the basket muzzle willingly. She set the muzzle on the floor and did classic clicker shaping with him:  at first as he made any move that could slightly be interpreted as showing an interest in the muzzle, she clicked and gave him a treat. If he sort of looked at it, click, treat. Eventually, of course, he kind of got the idea and looked at it more frequently to get a treat.  Then I was given the chance to practice with him and the muzzle. I am not unfamiliar with clicker training, so she was trying to hone my timing and make sure I understood the point. Because we know that the dog can play me like a fiddle, it is good to have someone watch as I try to train him and make sure I am the one training him, and not vice versa, at least about this issue. The idea is to make him comfortable enough with the muzzle that if a situation arises where anyone is worried about his behavior—like when he semi-attacked the vet tech during his annual vet visit—we can put the muzzle on and he will be happy about it because he associates it with happy things, people around him will be happy because they will not think he will bite them since he is wearing a muzzle, and everyone will be more relaxed.

Our homework is to practice a couple of times a day clicking and treating with the muzzle—not putting it on, but getting him happy to look at it, perhaps touch it, and get his treat. In a couple of weeks, we will come back and hopefully progress to the next step. We should also continue our basic training.

Not one time today did I see any sign of aggression. He was anxious, but it was a new situation. Even Millie, my therapy/service dog who went everywhere with me, would have been a little nervous for awhile, I believe. Whisper was such a good boy today. The trainer said to me, “He really does look to you.” That does seem to be the majority opinion. Yes, he is my dog.  And today gave me hope for more progress in the future. There is much work yet to do, but I feel optimistic that Whisper can learn he can trust me, that other people can be trusted as well, and that he need not be so anxious all the time about everything. 

Baby steps.

(Not) Missing in Action

Those that have had any time to wonder, probably wonder what is up with Whisper and his struggle to overcome anxiety and aggression. (I thought about trying to come up with nicer words, but there you go). However, since my foot surgery on June 10, I have literally been down for the count—counting days and days. The dogs are sure I am the most boring human on the planet. Finally I don’t rush off each morning leaving them alone, but all I have done while being home is lie around doing nothing. After all, what good, really, are humans if you don’t come with sheep or throw balls or go for walks or throw balls or go in the car or throw balls…..

I have managed to wheel out to the deck and throw a few tennis balls. We have worked some on a few exercises—getting them used to being separated in a room away from us for small amounts of time (and knocking them over as I open the door to let them out), Whisper getting really good and practiced settling quietly beside me on his bed beside the couch, being ignored by me (I am learning as well). But, as for true work with him interacting with other dogs and people, well, that’s hard to do when your human is incapacitated.

However, Tuesday is my six-week surgery date—and I can officially walk again. I confess I have breached the barrier a couple days early—but only a little, taking one small stroll to the back yard, and then putting my “surgical boot” that goes to my knee and protects my foot very well on for help. Even then I sat and, just to be different, threw the ball from under a tree instead of from the deck. Whisper's ruff is so thick and beautiful and just flows when he runs now; 19-months-old, and my big boy is just about all grown up, thank goodness. 

On August 4, we have an appointment to go back to the behavior clinic to work on specific helpful behavior changes. Now that Whisper has been on puppy Prozac for several weeks, his brain can hopefully be accepting of the training. He is still a border collie—they live in OCD land; but he does mind well, generally, and as long as he can stay away from Cujo Land, I am very optimistic.

So, no, we haven’t vanished, and, no, we haven’t given up, and no, we aren’t not sharing any more. We have just had to all get well enough to get back to training.

But, understand this:  this dog may be the sweetest dog I have ever had—and I have had some world-class wonders in that area. He is also very bonded with me. When my husband takes them for a ride anywhere with him, Whisper’s first stop is to check in with me as soon as he walks in the door. “Hey, Mom, I’m back!” He stays in whatever room I am in; he listens for my voice. When I am busy and look up, if he is not asleep, his eyes are watching me. Try working on a computer with a border collie staring at you—it is not as easy as it sounds. When he does sleep, if I get upset, or laugh, or my mood changes one degree, that beautiful head lifts and, more often than not, he raises from his position and trots over, pushing that beautiful snout under a hand, into my face. He licks my wrist, which is the one expression of affection from dogs that drives me crazy—Millie, the other sweetest dog I’ve ever had—did that, and I didn’t like it then, either.  I do believe one of his issues is protection of me, and we just have to get him to understand that I can protect myself, especially as he is perfectly capable of understanding that I have been injured in the last year, two big surgeries that have had me down for several weeks each time.

And, we will. Soon—oh, very soon now—we will walk and train again. That smile on his face makes me smile as well. As usual, we’ll let you know how it goes.

Thank everyone for your kind words to us.

Working Hard for the Kibble

\\Working on fear aggression is not, of course, a sprint. Like most worthwhile work, it takes time. I haven’t posted on the blog for a little while because we are basically keeping to the described program, and I’m not sure how many people yearn to read “gave meds 9:00; worked 15 min. on leash exercise….” And so on.

And, yet, it is those small entries on the calendar that will, I pray, make the difference in my cherished dog—or rather, the actions those entries represent.

Whisper’s favorite activities involve his beloved ball. Exercise is essential for all of us, of course—dogs and people—and everyone with a border collie knows that if they don’t get enough exercise, don’t have somewhere to work off that endless energy, someone, as in the owner or the owner’s possessions, will pay. (One of my favorite stories along those lines is the man who got a border collie puppy and, not wanting to cruelly lock the puppy in a cage (crate) for too long, instead shut him in the bathroom, wisely wanting to keep him safe and contained, which, we note, is one purpose of a crate. When the man arrived home later, the puppy had managed to peel the wallpaper off the wall as high as he could reach, all the way around the wall).

Though I cannot walk the dogs for a few weeks due to what must seem to everyone like the perennial foot surgery recovery, I can throw a ball, and I roll out to the deck with my knee roller, throw the ball, which Whisper tears after, Jenni tears after him, and on and on. The game can’t last very long now; the Carolinas in the summer define humidity and heat. But, the dogs love to go at it for a few minutes, Henry the cat swatting at them off and on, and then everyone comes in and collapses on top of the closest air conditioning vent. And, exercise is a big part of Whisper’s (and my) anti-anxiety program.

We periodically work on the application where I put his special blue leash on him, ignore any unwanted behavior, and give as reinforcement only the quiet phrase “Good boy.”  Whisper checks to make sure that Jenni and Mike aren’t doing anything fun, then looks at me like, “Really? Again?” and gives a big sigh before collapsing on his bed beside the couch for a snooze. The point, of course, is to transfer that behavior outside the house; we keep practicing to make that behavior second nature. Most difficult is ignoring a white face with a coal-black snout stuck in my face sniffing, “Can you REALLY ignore me?” and then making sure the reinforcement phrase is quiet enough not to send him into spasms of joy at the very fact that I paid attention to  him. “She spoke to me! She talked to me! YOU TALKED TO ME!! ME! ME! ME!” If I did not know better myself, I would think no one ever talked to the dog—all day long. Ever. 

What he hates is being locked in the bedroom away from us as practice for when company comes and the best behavior alternative is an absence of dog. Jenni is put in the room with him—he is not alone. But, 18 months old is not an adult dog, and he really wants to be where I am. He has a bone filled with cheese to chew, he has a toy, there is that big bed to lie on….but no humans appears to be cruel and unusual punishment.  However, he has never destroyed anything, and, though we have not worked on this as much as we should have done, practice makes perfect. Jenni, of course, chews the bones and waits patiently.

Finally, I have to comment on the medicine. No dog person I know wants to drug their dog; I don’t want to drug my dog. But, before we lost her, my Millie spent a couple of years taking various medicines for one or another malady:  her thyroid got off kilter, causing her hair to fall out in chunks; she became a little incontinent;  her hips hurt, and that lovely freedom with which she used to sail around the yard slipped away. For each of these conditions, I could give her a medicine that helped. She never completely regained that glorious chestnut coat of her youth, but she no longer looked like she the victim of a rogue weed whacker; it took a couple of times to find a medicine for her incontinence, but, eventually the vets found one for her, and she could again lie on blankets and not make puddles; and though her agile movements were gone, she could get up and down and enjoy playing and walking with us.

I was grateful for those drugs.

Whisper is anxious…..and with that border collie intensity, his brain focuses in on the object of his anxiety with such passion and force, that I cannot even help him learn an appropriate behavior because he cannot break that focus.  He wants more than anything to please me. If this drug he is taking can help me help him learn the right thing to do, and help him be calmer and more at ease while he is doing that right thing, then, I will not only give it to him (under a vet's supervision, of course), I will be grateful for it.  If the drug making a physical change in his brain that makes a positive change in his behavior—and makes him feel less anxious and happier, I say, “Bring it on!”

It has been several weeks now that he has been taking his medicine, and my husband and I have both noticed that he seems just a little calmer. He is still our little (?) clown boy—goofy, gallumping, though very dexterous and agile, puppy. He is himself. But, he seems….more at ease. He does not sleep more or in any way seem off. We are fortunate, I believe, in that the changes we see so far are positive.

We haven’t had him out and about yet, just because that is not yet part of the training, and because I am not out and about yet. But, I feel better, not as fearful FOR him as I did a couple of months ago.

And we’ll keep practicing, and I’ll keep making notes on our calendar…..

And letting you know. J

BAD Behavior NOT Reactive

Close to 14 years ago now, my Pluto died. He had come to live with us in August of 1987. I know that date because it is the year we moved into our little house, and that little black and white puppy, six weeks  old, became ours because the other person who wanted him did not have a fence.  That fact changed our lives; Pluto’s mother was a cocker; his father was a border collie. Pluto adored me more than I deserved. Ten years later, Mac was born down the road—the dog of a lifetime, and he looked like a mini-me when walking beside a lumbering Pluto. In March of 2001, Pluto died, over 13 years old, and I learned what it means to lose your heart. A few weeks later, Millie came.

Her first owners named her Millennium Noelle—they got her for the children, Christmas in 1999—Millie for short. Though she came with ABCA (American Border Collie Association—the working border collie group) papers, they had never sent them in, and though I kept the Millie, I just didn’t think she seemed like a Millennium Noelle kind of girl. Eventually she was registered as Pluto’s Millie, starting a tradition of putting the previous dog’s name in front of the new dog’s name in registering them. Whisper, the object of this blog, is Millie’s Whisper.  Sometimes their similar behavior makes it eerie.

This family was a really nice family with a beautiful home. Both adults worked. By the time we met them, the children were two and four years old, the mother was pregnant again, and Millie, very, very sweet, had run a path around the fairly small, fenced back yard. I worked with border collie rescue at the time, and I was checking to see if we could foster her for awhile.  She was 16-months old, with all the energy a big ole gallumping border collie puppy has, she was big for a border collie, had a rather unusual, though not unheard of, chestnut-tri coat, and greeted us, um, enthusiastically. We had brought Mac with us. Mac, who had been with us since he was eight weeks old and had lived since that day to please us, was, to say the least, horrified at her behavior. She ran around the path she had worn in the yard. She jumped on us. She jumped on Mac. She jumped on her family. She ran some more.  All the while, she smiled…..

We agreed to give it a try, which her original family took to mean we would take her and they would never see her again. I truly believe they loved her, but they really had no idea what to do with her. As the mother emailed me later, “I think we got the wrong breed.”

Christmas puppies are very often a bad idea; border collies for pets are often a bad idea. Put two bad ideas together, and you get, 14 months later, well, Millie.

They gave us her dish, a crate, a tie out stake (which I threw away), a tennis ball, some food….that was it, all she had. On the way home in our little Carolla I sat in the back seat with her. She LUNGED (imagine a big dog lunging from one side of a small car to another) at the passing cars, barking. Mac scrambled to the front seat and got under the dash, mortified at her behavior. He looked up, worry wrinkling his beautiful face. “She’s not STAYING is she?”

But, we made it home, and she settled down in the house. Of course, she later jumped on the neighbor’s dog as fast as she could. I had asked her previous owner “Is she okay with cats?” since we had one. “Oh, yeah, she’s fine with cats.” They really were tired of this big puppy’s antics. And, so, my cat lived behind the dresser in the bedroom for three months. At night, I would crate Millie. As soon as the crate door closed, Snoopy, the cat (my five-year-old son named all our pets back then) would slink from behind the dresser and slither in front of the crate, flipping his tail back and forth, tormenting Millie as she barked from inside her crate, unable to chase him back behind the shelter where he stayed during the day.

She thought, “Millie, come!!” meant turn and run away as fast as you can. I did not want her crated all day and all night, so I left her out with Mac during the day. She tore the drapes off the sliding glass door—twice. She pulled food off the counters. NO ONE liked her.

And, yet….she was this sweet, sweet dog, if you could get past her behavior.  She had these amazing amber eyes—my husband called them “Betty Davis eyes.”  And, unlike my current reactive dog, it was obvious that her behavior was not beyond control; no one had ever taught her how to behave.

And, so, I set about teaching her what proper behavior was. As my husband said one time, “That is a lot of dog.” She had a strong will, and she was not afraid to use it. But, little by little, using treats and repetition, she learned. After a few months we took a class to get a CGC. To my amazement, Millie was the star of the class. I don’t mean I was pleasantly surprised, I mean I was drop-jawed gob-smacked.  At the end of the class, she did get a CGC (Canine Good Citizen) certificate. Later, she got another CGC, as in those early years she could forget she was a good citizen.

We went to work sheep, which sent her joy-o-meter way out the top. Listening to commands was not an option. Finally, I just let her go where she wanted, and when she had a poor sheep penned in one corner of the field, she looked back at me, tongue to the ground, happy, and for all the world looked like, “Now, what do I do?” After that, the herding instructor always did work with her on sheep; she was too much dog for me there, but she did compete and did succeed there.  We sent her for one week of sheep camp with the instructor who she knew and liked, and that week of steady sheep work made a big difference for her.

With all the work and classes and instruction, she calmed down and became consistently the sweet girl we knew she was. During these years, I had the first of many surgeries on my feet….and we enrolled in therapy dog class. Millie rocked there.  She developed an ability to sense when someone was ill or weaker in some way. She was great when we went to Alzheimer’s patients because she was a big, sturdy dog, and they could pound her head as she smiled at them. She was magic with children.

I could give example after example of Millie giving comfort to those who needed it. But one stands out. I worked with a man who got a diagnosis of a rare, frequently terminal cancer. He and I both came to work on a Saturday, and I brought Millie with me, not knowing he was there. When he saw her, he got on the floor with her, and she was so gentle with him, letting him pet her, and she comforted him.

On December 7, 2012, we lost Millie, one of the hardest days of my life. She had a tumor, and we had to make that decision all those who love their dogs dread. I held her as the doctor gave her the shot, and I felt her heart stop.  I miss her every day still.  Though I invested a lot of time and money into making her a “good” dog, she gave back much, much more than I ever gave her. She was the gift, the best kind, the gift I never saw coming.  I am so grateful her family decided, wisely, that they were not the best fit for her; I am so grateful that my husband kept saying, when potential adopters would apply for her, “they aren’t good enough for her,” and we finally adopted her. 

After each of Millie's accomplishments, each certificate she got, each title or step she took, I sent copies to her first family as long as I was able to keep contact with them. Eventually, after they moved or changed jobs, or both, I lost contact. But I wanted them to know that this dog they had spent a not inconsiderable amount of money for, and that they had done their best for, had a good life. The wife said to me once, "You were an answer to prayer." They sought a group they believed would do best for their dog. They realized this dog was not right for their family at this time in their life. And, certainly, I will forever be grateful that we are the ones who benefited from that choice.

Until Whisper, no dog I had ever had, as special as they were, as much as I loved them, had needed me as much as Millie did. Now, he does, maybe more. Millie showed me how much a dog can change. Whisper and I will work together, as Millie and I did, to get past his problems. His issues are very different--I don't know that I will ever be able to trust him in every situation as I could eventually trust Millie, and I don’t think he will be a therapy dog; but he doesn’t have to. That was her job, her joy. We will find his own place. And, because of Millie—and Pluto and Mac and Trey and Jenni, I believe we will be okay. We won’t be the same, but, eventually, okay.

Just not sure what okay is yet.

Ignoring Behavior

My last question when we left the Behavior Clinic was, “Do we work outside or stay in?” The vet was emphatic:  “You want to set up situations where you can control the outcome. Do not go to new places or try new things till we give the drugs time to start to work.”

Okay. So….. other than taking drugs in the right dose and on schedule, there have been a  few basic exercises she gave us to do, and we started a major one that day. Because it was so obvious that he controlled me by timing his response to commands—and then his un-response to same—to manipulate me to give him the treat rewarding him for “obeying” the command when he sat after I told him to sit (again) after he popped back up then I would say “sit” and reward him (again) and he would pop up, and so on, she, um, encouraged me to modify that conduct.

The exercise she gave us was to completely ignore any unwanted behavior (including the popping up and sitting) except a quiet lying down, or a quiet sit that was not an obvious manipulation, and then reward only with a quiet “Good boy.” When working on that exercise at home, we have a special, light leash, used only for that purpose. Whisper knows when I clip his blue leash, narrower than all others, to his collar that we are working on his “Good Boy!” exercise. He probably wonders WHY we are working on it, but he always enjoys one-on-one time, so he gives it his full attention.

That “ignoring unwanted behavior” part can be harder than it sounds. For instance, in writing this post, the “ignoring” part resulted in five rows of “3’s” on the page as that beautiful head rested on the keyboard, and then, as he shifted, a couple of rows of “t’s” flew by.  The unwanted characters were, of course, easy simple enough to delete. But it’s not the easiest thing to sit here seeing numbers run across the page, wanting to rip the computer from under the dog’s chin, gritting your teeth, waiting.

Eventually, though, he gave up and just put his head on the floor, under the stool which is right now by the couch, originally the platform for charging various kindles and controls for heating pads.  Some of them got moved to the floor. (Remain calm....."Good boy." Calm. Unclench jaw.) A light dog bed placed by the couch indicates his “place,” though only half his body rests there, the rest covering the kindle fire that somehow got under his head.  When calm takes over the room, he dozes; when the manchild gets home, or someone walks into the room, well, there really is only so much you can ask of a puppy. 

But, he knows now the bed and the leash mean “I lie here and am calm and don’t get treats to behave this way, but get praise for reward.” The hope is—the point of the exercise—is that this behavior will translate to places away from home, that we can take the bed or a pad with us and get the same calm behavior. This would be assuming Whisper and I continue to work.

And, smart boy, he learned the exercise in roughly 37 seconds—needs perfecting, of course. But, he gives me hope that if I can get my part right, we can get him able to go out in public. I don’t expect the type of behavior my Millie had—she believed all humans were put on earth to pet her. But if he can learn to behave appropriately, I will be happy.

After half hour, or so, I unclip the leash, Whisper, did I mention smart boy?, knows we are through, and he gets up, gives a shake, and finds a tennis ball (they're everywhere) and offers it to me, which I refuse, for the umpteenth time today. (Before you feel badly for the puppy, I have thrown tennis balls many, many times more than I have refused them!) He takes his ball back and lies on the couch. 

Medicine time.

Step-by-step. And, one step is learning to selectively ignore.

And So It Begins

Today we went to the veterinary school to meet with the people who will help us work through our, um, issues. Whisper started by making me out a liar—in a good way. We left the car, walked into the waiting room, where a strange (to us) cat and other dog waited, and he managed to ignore all the people and animals, looking around, and not get aggressive with anyone. The behavior tech lady took us back, and he was appropriate with her. Only one time towards the end of our conversation did I start to see him get that wild look in his eye. I called him back to me, and he settled down.

Good boy!

Then we met the vet behaviorist; at the end of the meeting with her today, Whisper and I both were calmer. I love seeing people who know what they are doing; she truly seemed to understand ways to help both Whisper and me.

For my part, she gave me help with training to cause Whisper to be calmer. We train fine; I use a clicker, he adores cheese, he starts ahead of me frequently. “Want me to put my feet on the stool? Here I go!” “Want me to ‘pray’? Move over, Mom!” “Lie down and stay? Piece of cake, er cheese!” 

What she saw that I should have seen is (big reveal!) the dog plays me.  Whether because of how close I am to the problem or because I am just so concerned (read worried to pieces) or because Whisper is so darn cute, I miss that trick of his where he, for example, lies down, gets a click and treat, then figures that if he gets up, Mom will again say “Lie down,” he’ll lie down—and here comes the treat. It took a little while, but well under an hour, while truly ignoring his jumping up from the floor and giving a quiet “Good boy” when he lay back down quietly, he understood, and his behavior was roughly 974% better. She also noted, "He really does look to you a lot." Yes, my dog...

That quieter behavior let us have a detailed discussion of his history and how we got to here. But, it was more of information gathering—I never felt any criticism of me, Whisper’s heritage, our home or training, anything. She took it all in and gave concrete steps for helping us.

Then came getting blood for evaluation.  Calmly and quietly she brought us a muzzle “for everyone’s protection,” but a muzzle that gave room for him to pant and get treats. She very slowly worked her way closer to me, set the muzzle down on the table, and withdrew back to where she was sitting, taking notes on a computer. This happened over an hour into the session, and by that time Whisper acted comfortable with her, watching her as she moved around the room, but, with me treating and “yessing” him as he obeyed the “stay” command I gave him as she moved, he never showed any concern, just curiosity. I placed the muzzle on, giving treats through the openings, and he did not even seem to mind it. Then, we all left the room.

In the hall she brought out her spoon with cheese on it (thank God for cheese!), and after pointing out the restrooms (yes, I had been downing Diet Dr. Pepper…..helps my nerves), she and Whisper trotted off to get his blood work……

…….which when she came back, she said he did very well, though he did tremble some and pee a little. Poor baby is so anxious. But he looked at her like he found a new best friend. GOOD boy!

So, we got a prescription.  As much as I don’t want to drug my dog, I have seen the worst of his behavior—and truly believe that behavior comes from anxiety and fear. If this medicine will let us begin to train the behavior to help him deal with that anxiety in more acceptable ways so that we can all be more comfortable in public, then I am not only willing to try it, but if it works, I may buy stock in the company.   An option to giving him meds might be putting me on something, but I do have to work…

I am so grateful that the behaviorist complimented us on our training; though I need to do a different type of training in some instances, she was very supportive of continuing the training we have been doing—obedience and tricks. She liked my Whisper—or acted like she did. And she made me feel that there is hope to help him (and me) and that he is well worth helping. She mentioned how beautiful he is, and how smart.

Though we are on the first step on helping him learn more appropriate behavior, I left there with hope—and I am grateful for that.  She gave me an abbreviated version of her recommendations, and is emailing me more detailed notes and recommendations. Now, of course, the work starts. And, Whisper loves me to work with him.

GOOD BOY!

I also melted a little plastic to pay for this…..and I don’t care. J

I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME....OR ONE OF MY DOGS

Whisper’s white face…..his black and white pinto-like body…..his gorgeous coat….he was one of the cutest puppies I had ever seen—ever, anywhere, and he has become close to the most beautiful dog, though still in a “puppy” phase at well under two years old.

He also oozed sweetness. I never noticed that homesickness other puppies showed after coming to my house. Right away I became his security. On his first visit to the vet’s office, he seemed nervous with all those big dogs, all those strangers. I picked him up and set him on my lap, and, immediately, he settled calmly on my lap, watching the world go by from the safety of Mom’s arms. Jenni, the then-two-and-a-half-year-old border collie we still have, took on the task of raising him. Henry the cat became his buddy.

Life was good…..

From the first, though, he was an anomaly in his litter. Frankly, he was a little porker, and he just kept growing. Now, less than a year and a half old, he is 60 pounds, 24 inches at the shoulder, and he is not overweight at all. His mother and father both are a trim 45 pounds. (Jenni is a petite girl—in the mid-thirties pounds range. Whisper walked UNDER her when he first got here; now he can almost step over her).  Probably this size led to him needing OCD shoulder surgery at six months old, missing his graduation from puppy class.  This necessary surgery fixed his shoulder issues, but keeping a border collie puppy “still” for six weeks? Yikes…….

I had foot surgery a few months after that, and he was, literally, by my side almost all the time.  I have pictures of my foot propped on the back of the couch, a beautiful, sleeping dog resting his head above the bandages. He is “my” dog.

We took another beginning class, teaching basic obedience, and it started…… Suddenly, he did not want dogs close to him. He got downright, um, aggressive. What?  He is now getting aggressive towards strange humans, as well. I have worked with a trainer, who, bless her, does not take it personally when the dog nips her. I, of course, am mortified.

This is not a dog who has been abused; this is not a dog who has been deprived, who has been afraid in his environment…..he has worked sheep and been fine….suddenly, he has just lost his mind.

And, to be completely shallow and off-the-point, it’s embarrassing. I am, after all, known for training dogs. Sweet Millie came as a terribly-behaved rescue and got TWO CGC certificates (she could forget she was a good citizen in early days) and certified as a therapy AND service dog. A man said to me one time in a store, “You have those smart dogs.”

And sweet. Very, very sweet…….

We went to the vet for Whisper's yearly visit, and in lieu of him eating someone, I was asked to muzzle him, though the tech thought we might have to sedate him. This was my sweet pup who will let me do ANYTHING to him—including put on a muzzle. Inside, he was much calmer (albeit distracted by this thing on his face), and to ward off his protective instincts regarding me, they took him “to the back” to see if he was better without me.

He was, and, had an entire exam, all his shots, and was “very sweet,” except he peed all the time. The vet thinks it is fear aggression…..  But, afraid of what?

I take him out and work with him. “Watch me!” and “heel” and “sit!” and “Watch me!” He is perfect…….till someone gets inside that invisible line he has drawn around us. We do tricks--Whisper saying prayers is about as cute as you will ever see.  I do think there is a sense of protection of me in his actions. But, he also seems to go somewhere else in his head.  That border collie concentration can make it hard to distract him.

This is a dog we walk in the woods and fields off lead and who will ALWAYS come when called. This is a dog who never does not know where I am if I am anywhere he can find me. This is a dog who adores Jenni, my husband, my grown son, even letting the cat rub against him….. He is annoyingly sweet.

And, suddenly, Cujo emerges.

It could be something that happened in his little head after the OCD surgery….

It could be my not being able to work him as much around other dogs when I had my own surgery.

It could be age and brain chemicals.

It could be all or none. I contacted his breeder, and she assured me none of the other puppies had these issues. I believe her…..he is, as I said, an anomaly. She is a responsible breeder.

But, I’ll tell you this….tell a lot of people who train dogs for a living that you have a 60 pound, newly aggressive puppy, and a lot of what you get is, “Let me give you the name of this trainer…..vet…..man I know…..woman who works with aggressive dogs.”

I was fortunate to find someone at all who would help.

After going through a term of at least six degrees of separation (and I don’t blame people—it’s a scary thing), I was referred to the vet school’s behavior unit. Our first appointment is this week.  The trainer who HAS helped us is willing to talk with them if they want her to: she LIKES him, when he’s not going to his crazy place.

So, why share this? Because, I know that sometimes other people get a dog and feel as I do—I love this pup who adores me. But, suddenly (and though he could be nervous early on, this aggressive stuff has NOT been long term) that dog exhibits a new, very worrisome behavior (meet Cujo). I want him to NOT be that upset and worried; I want him to be able to trust me to take care of him, and not feel so protective.  I want him to learn he does not have to LIKE other dogs and people, but he does have to tolerate them.  And, for the first time in my working with dogs, I am out of my depth.  As upset as this whole thing makes me (my Whisper!), I hope that sharing it will somehow help someone else.

I’ll let you know…….